Things Moms Just Know

Before becoming a dad, I thought parents mostly had things figured out.

Now that I am a dad?  I can confirm that — at least in my case — I’m basically flying through fatherhood by the seat of my pants while pretending I know what I’m doing.

Honestly, half of parenting is confidently saying things like:

“Yeah buddy, that’s probably normal.”

…when internally you’re already preparing to Google it at 2:13am.

But moms?
Moms seem to come preloaded with software dads never receive.

Looking Back at My Mom

Mother’s Day hits differently now because I finally see parenting from the other side. And the older I get, the more I realize my mom was probably carrying way more than I ever noticed as a kid.

Especially because she was raising me — a kid with cerebral palsy — in the 70s, back when accessibility basically meant, “Good luck buddy,” and ramps were apparently considered a luxury feature. Long before the ADA, automatic doors, or accessible spaces became an actual conversation.

Meanwhile, I was just out here trying to live my best kid life.

I wasn’t thinking about accessibility. I was thinking about cartoons, snacks, staying up late, and whether I could somehow talk my way out of homework.

My mom, on the other hand, was probably mentally calculating every staircase, narrow doorway, doctor appointment, and future challenge before we even left the house.

Looking back now, I honestly don’t know how she handled all of it without losing her mind.

Because parenting alone is stressful.

Then add disability, accessibility issues, medical appointments, and random strangers offering completely unqualified advice in Target?

That woman earned every gray hair.

But one thing I appreciate now as a father is this:

My mom never let me become fragile.

She acknowledged my cerebral palsy without allowing it to become my identity. She pushed me toward independence while still being there when I needed help.

That balance had to be incredibly hard.

Especially because moms worry professionally.

Like… Olympic-level worrying.

My mom could probably detect danger from three zip codes away.

And now that I’m a father myself, I finally understand why.

A lot of what people now know as Wheelchair Daddy probably started with her.

My Wife Has Actual Superpowers

Now let’s talk about my wife.

Because somewhere along the parenting journey, I discovered mothers apparently unlock abilities the rest of us do not receive access to.

I’m serious.

She knows when our son is stressed before he says a single word.
She knows the difference between him being sick versus just tired.
She can hear one cough from across the house and instantly determine whether it’s:

• “He’s fine.”
• “Seasonal allergies.”
• “Start monitoring him.”
• or “Cancel your plans tomorrow.”

Meanwhile, I hear the same cough and think:

“Sounds cough-ish.”

There are genuinely times I get completely freaked out as a dad.

Not externally. Internally.

Because when you love your kid that much, your brain escalates FAST.

A mild headache somehow becomes:
“What if this is rare?”
“What if we missed something?”
“Should I already be packing a hospital bag?”
“Why is WebMD trying to ruin my life?”

And through all of it, she stays calm.

Steady.

Grounded.

Meanwhile, I’m over here acting like our son sneezing twice in a row requires a family meeting.

What amazes me most is how mothers notice the little things.

The mood shifts.
The stress levels.
The quiet moments.
The “something feels off” instincts.

And the crazy part?

They’re usually right.

Watching my wife be a mother has honestly made me appreciate my own mom even more.

Because now I finally understand what mothers carry that kids rarely see growing up:

The constant mental checklist.
The quiet worrying.
The invisible emotional load.
The ability to somehow remember everyone’s schedule except where they left their own coffee.

A lot of the same family moments and reflections I write about on Wheelchair Daddy come directly from living this life together every day.

The Women We Call “Aunt”

And honestly, some of the best “moms” in life aren’t always biological.

Sometimes they’re the women who simply choose to show up over and over again.

The family friends.
The “aunts.”
The women who support your kids, check in, love hard, and somehow become family along the way.

In our home, those women usually earn the title Aunt.

No paperwork required. Just love, loyalty, and probably bringing snacks at least once.

To All Moms

So this Mother’s Day, I’m grateful for two incredible women:

The one who raised me.
And the one helping me raise our son.

But honestly, this goes beyond just my story.

To the moms carrying the visible things and the invisible ones… thank you.

Thank you for the worrying nobody sees.
Thank you for the schedules, the reminders, the instincts, and the calm during the chaos.
Thank you for somehow knowing a kid is sick before the thermometer even agrees with you.

And especially to the mothers raising children with disabilities — in a world that still doesn’t always make things easy — thank you for pushing forward anyway.

A lot of us dads may act like we’re holding everything together…

…but deep down, we know who’s really running the operation.

Happy Mother’s Day.

If you enjoy honest conversations about fatherhood, disability, accessibility, and family life, you can subscribe and follow along at Wheelchair Daddy.